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Joke of the Day

"I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs."

"Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...!"

"Rape Such a short word for such a long sentence."

"What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment? A booby trap"

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you'll be a mile away and he'll be barefoot."

"My Grandpa has the heart of a Lion... And a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo"

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog."

"What do you call a country where everyone is pissed? A urination."

"What sways from side to side? Jesus on a rubber cross!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because you didn't cook it. ^^probably ^^old ^^but ^^I ^^read ^^it ^^for ^^the ^^first ^^time"