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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: Can I get you something to drink? Me: just cheese dip Waiter: .... Me: With a straw please"

"Feline-loving fashionista's favorite music? Techno. *boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats*"

"What's the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea. One shucks and fits and the other ..."

"Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game? He got suspended."

"my mom's cat has been in our family since 2002 and i never saw it get a boner til tonight. animals are awful and perverted"

"After working out for over a year, I successfully dated several girls who always jumped on my couch, saying 'do whatever you want with me'. But unfortunately none of them liked Mario Kart. :("

"Just helped a girl give birth... OP delivered."

"Please help! I desperately need a joke about an Irishman."

"1st day of middle school & my son REALLY didn't want to get picked on but he's dressed like a dorkwad & I couldn't help myself."

"I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing"