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Joke of the Day

"1st day of middle school & my son REALLY didn't want to get picked on but he's dressed like a dorkwad & I couldn't help myself."

"What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises? He lost his hearing."

"My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter."

"OMG I BOUGHT A MASK AND A GUN AND NOW EVERYTHING IS FREE"

"Caught a taxi home last night from the market. Forgot I had no money. Thankfully the driver let me pay in cabbage"

"Such bullshit that people stop saying ""You ate it all! Good job!"" once you reach a certain age"

"Why couldn't the octopus stop laughing? Because it had ten tickles"

"Some people say I have my mom's eyes... but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law."

"The week seems to go by at the speed of a snail. Unless it's the weekend. Then the snail is driving a Ferrari."

"Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory? Because she was fed up with the hole business."