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Joke of the Day

"I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing"

"JESUS: [walks on water] JUDAS: Actually, the body is 60% water so it's only 40% miracle JESUS: You're killing me, Judas JUDAS: Actually.."

"What's the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice."

"The last 60+ Miss Universe pageant winners have been from earth I don't know man, seems fixed."

"My friend told me to stop speaking in numbers... but I didn't 1 2."

"How do you know when an Australian prisoner is raping another prisoner? When they're in an inmate mate"

"Only use ""extra virgin"" to describe olive oil that doesn't even think about fucking."

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them into a tire and call it a Goodyear."

"Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?"

"Let's take all the bad science jokes... And barium."