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Joke of the Day

"when someone pisses you off start counting down from 10. When you get to 8 punch them in the throat, they will never expect it."

"I hate it when people call me judgemental Especially people wearing shoes like that"

"What made the vampire a gentlemen? They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside."

"I accidentally swallowed some thread a few days ago, and passed it out today. I shit you knot."

"I'd like to execute g0d. But how can you execute vacuum."

"Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle."

"I almost got raped in jail ... My family takes monopoly way too seriously."

"Hey it's Bill Gates! Mr. Gates, why was 6 afraid of 7? ""I don't know, because 7 8 10?"""

"Why do skeletons not go to the disco? Because they got no body to dance with!"

"How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take him 50 tries to do it."