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Joke of the Day
"How many ways are there to please a guy? Three way."
Next Joke
"Bad news guys. The 1st person who ever typed ""LOL"" into a keyboard just died of double AIDS."
"""Is that a banana in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me haha"" [i pull a hand full of lasagna out of my pocket] ""Actually it's lasagna"""
"*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* ""ROAR"" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this ""GROWL"" hmm ""SHOUT"" hmmm ""YELL"" hmmmmm ""HOLLER"" oh its a thesaurus"
"What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? The book has papers"
"How can you tell if a Volcano is Jewish? It has a build up of shmagma around the rim."
"A piece of ham Ham is ham. The end"
"What's the difference between a weatherman and a well-hung dick doctor? One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist."
"Me: *eating 3rd Twix of the day* Her: You eat too much candy, you're going to make me a widow Me: *orders 10 truckloads & cancels all plans*"
"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. ...Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening..."