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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if a Volcano is Jewish? It has a build up of shmagma around the rim."

"Girl are you the Iraq invasion because this was a mistake"

"Of course I don't put Christmas presents under the tree for the CAT! That's just silly. She gets a stocking."

"How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?"

"Osama Bin Laden tried his hand as a movie reviewer before settling on global terrorism... Unfortunately, he always gave films the same rating: 9/11."

"I AM A CAPITALIST YES I AM"

"""I'm so sorry"" ""No, I'm really sorry"" ""No, I'm even sorrier than you"" ""No, I'm the sorriest ever!"" *mutual hug* -Canadian rap battle"

"If you're moving to a new house for a ""fresh start,"" congratulations your new house is haunted."

"I'm going to change my name to Benefits' Now when you add me on Facebook it will say ""You are now friends with benefits."""

"Thanks for reminding me to ""have a safe trip."" I was going to roll down a cliff and let the river float me to my destination. Close call."