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Joke of the Day

"Bad news guys. The 1st person who ever typed ""LOL"" into a keyboard just died of double AIDS."

"there are some really great cocktails you can have when it gets cold. Gin and coffee, gin and hot water, microwaved gin, go nuts"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He started eating before it was cool."

"What does a guy who's self-conscious about his uncircumcised penis say to his barber? Just a little off the tip- I mean top."

"So Jack helps you off the horse. Will you help Jack off the horse?"

"Wow, what a day. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, caught up on my scrapbookin', went 2 baby shower, ran 9 miles, then told lies on twitter."

"How do you help a paraplegic kill themselves? Give them a push."

"What's the name of NASA's launch button? The ""Space Bar"""

"Did you hear that Sean Connery tried out speed-dating but he ended up making all his dates sick? He was told it was a shingles club."

"What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America? Antiquing."