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Joke of the Day
"Why if the best things in life are free the next-best things are so expensive?"
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"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass Doctors describe his condition as stable"
"Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?"
"I love Instagram's new direct messaging feature because I've always thought, ""If only this picture of someone's dinner was just for me."""
"My friend asked why his computer kept crashing. I told him, 'because they can't drive' . (Girlfriend told me this joke)"
"What do you call 2 crows sitting on a bench? Attempted murder."
"What did one black guy say to another black guy? We're both black guys."
"What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies? There's no million dollar car in my garage."
"I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision."
"I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you."