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Joke of the Day

"*opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* ""The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."""

"Jedi Knights love analogies. ""Metaphors be with you!"""

"What's Forest Gumps password? 1Forest1"

"What I learned from watching Star Trek: Nothing. I've never watched Star Trek. I am popular with friends. We don't do that."

"What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world? An ambulance"

"Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly."

"You want to hear a funny joke? I said hear not read, you fuck."

"What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large"

"My mother said if never be able to build a car out of spaghetti.. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta."

"What is a Jewish person's favorite job? A lox-smith"