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Joke of the Day

"So Jesus walks into a hotel... he puts three nails on the counter and says, ""Hey, can you put me up for the night?"""

"Those luxury car ads with a sexy couple zigzagging through the hills should really end with the passenger puking on the side of the road."

"...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool."

"Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?"

"My boss fired me. ""Why?"" I protested. ""I haven't done anything!"" Turns out that was his reason."

"Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet? It doesn't need cleaning."

"What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you Pull the pin out and throw it back"

"So Nickelback walks into a bar... [xpost from r/funny] There's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."