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Joke of the Day

"Filling out my Census form. I have to list every person who lives in my home for a majority of the time. What's your mother's name, again?"

"Funny unknown historical fact: Pharoahs were burried with their hands crossed their chest because it was a historical belief there would be countless water slides in the after life."

"It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page."

"I know exactly how President Obama feels. Every time my kids are forced to listen to me, they make angry Republican faces."

"Ole! What does a fat white chick and a cinder block have in common???Both will eventually get laid by a Mexican!!!"

"My family and I went to visit this new zoo that opened up recently but they only had a single canine there It was a shih tzu"

"Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don't worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about"

"What did Magic Johnson give his teammates after winning an NBA title? A HI-V (high five)"

"What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison"

"She said, ""I want twelve inches and I want it to hurt!"" So I screwed her twice and hit her in the head with a brick"