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Joke of the Day

"She said, ""I want twelve inches and I want it to hurt!"" So I screwed her twice and hit her in the head with a brick"

"""She lived a long, long life. And saw basically nothing."" - eulogy for a cat"

"What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears? ... Britney asked to be hit one more time.."

"What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"

"What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic"

"A programmer walks into a bar. Barman ask him if he wants ""beer or whiskey"", he responded ""yes"""

"I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!"

"Jokerino Why did the tire pop? Because it retired."

"Ronda Rouseys next fight has been announced! Ronda Rousey V. Crippling Depression"