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Joke of the Day

"Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch."

"Has anyone seen the new Ebola video ? I heard it went viral."

"League of Legends Joke Why do Jews suck at jungling? Because they always get executed at the first camp."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve vegetables!"" The mushroom responds, ""But I'm a fungi!!"""

"What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Licksalotapuss. What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass."

"My exercise is primarily jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck."

"My subscription brings all the newspapers to the yard."

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Mould them into a tire, and call it a GoodYear"

"The guy who told me I sucked at tennis puns is failing as a comic. Serves him right."