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Joke of the Day

"Why is your room like the Middle East? Because your bed is practically Iraq! *Hey, this subrettit has to have a few corny jokes right?!*"

"did you hear about the constipated mathematician? he worked it out with a pencil.... a number two pencil"

"Is it true that Martha Washington had wooden boobs?"

"What's the cheapest present for an ophan? A tattoo with dad"

"You can't be a real country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't really know Y"

"I shall plucketh thine eyes from ye skull and make kebobs but with bendy straws instead of skewers cuz those are dangerous"

"A man walks up to a woman ""We're going to have sex tonight"" The man said. ""Why?"" replied the woman. ""Because I'm stronger than you"""

"I went to see a theatrical piece about puns last night it was a play on words"

"As a kid, I was less concerned about Goldilock's safety than I was about Mama and Papa bear not sleeping in the same bed anymore."