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Joke of the Day

"A man walks up to a woman ""We're going to have sex tonight"" The man said. ""Why?"" replied the woman. ""Because I'm stronger than you"""

"I went through a Skrillex phase I had to stop though. It got expensive dropping everything all the time!"

"Everything brightened up when you came into our presence. - Food in my refrigerator."

"Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius' home improvements? He wants a new bathroom door, but his girlfriend's dead against it"

"Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC? because it's stoned."

"Yep. Not sure what freaked out the mailman more - that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived."

"How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? One...but it takes him 27 tries"

"Where is everybody? Everybody? I don't know. All over the planet I guess."

"What is the best way to manage a full inbox? Hillary Clinton"

""" I saw Lisa today... Dats hilarious!"""