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Joke of the Day
"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't really know Y"
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"I love Isis She's my favourite pharaoh."
"NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks"
"Want to see 45 years of wrinkles disappear in less than one minute? nsfw Rub my penis."
"I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd."
"Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work? 'Cause it had a hard drive."
"What do you call playing chess against yourself? Chessturbation."
"Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome!"
"At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Heath Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?"
"So, we tip the pizza delivery guy, but not ambulance drivers."