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Joke of the Day

"There's a couple sitting next to each other Wife: I will make you the happiest person on earth Husband: I will miss you"

"I don't ever have to worry about getting sex... Because I'm married, so I already know I won't. Takes all the guesswork right out of it."

"Teacher: What's 2 and 2 Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good Pupil: Good ? that's perfect !"

"Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*"

"Have a Coke and a smile! I opened up a can of Coke, and on the side it said: ""Share a Coke with your Soulmate."" So, I put the can in my right hand."

"What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him? He's got more money than cents"

"Switzerland on Austrians: ""Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red'?"" ""So that they can't raise it upside-down"""

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"How can you tell vampirism is a disease? On account of the coffin."

"I know a lot of clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads."