133680

Joke of the Day

"Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*"

"What makes the Japanese better than Al Qaeda? At least the Japanese were considerate enough to bring their own planes"

"I can't understand my parents. I am 35 years old and they're still living with me."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer I am not sure what they were laced with but I have been tripping all day"

"Happy April Fools Day! April Fools it's March 31st."

"What did one tonsil say to the other? Get dressed, the doctor is taking us out tonight!"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong sock."

"""Shut the door, drop your pants, and get on top of me."" -My toilet"

"This Venn guy was sure bad at drawing circles next to each other"

"What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit? Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something."