128276

Joke of the Day

"The last Post-It note in a pack should be a preprinted reminder to pick up more Post-It notes."

"What's the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"Teach a man to fish and feed him for a day. Shoot him in the face and never have to deal with that whiny douchebag again."

"What does the average male have in common with a Velociraptor? They both have a six inch retractable claw."

"Trump keeps talking about restoring ""law and order."" I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly."

"A lot of people are saying that it was a ref's bad call denying the blackhawks goal... But we all know that it was really Buffalo Wild Wings doing."

"Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my tarifa por 2 horas, so pay me maybe."

"Intelligence is the new cleavage"

"I'm selling a WWII relic.... A beautiful French rifle. It's never been fired and only dropped once."

"Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique."