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Joke of the Day

"What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks."

"The detective said it was ""super fucking weird, but not illegal"" to rub Rogaine on my daughter's back every morning."

"Ordered a Book on Female Orgasms. It hasn't come till now."

"The grass is always greener When its not my weed"

"What has six balls and rapes the poor? The lottery. It's over $800 million folks! Dragged this joke back for the occasion."

"I save so much money by not having any money."

"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job"

"Shoutout to toilet paper... ...for always being there for me while I'm having a shitty day."

"1. Take pictures of every cat in your neighborhood 2. Make missing cat posters with the pictures 3. Get all the cats"

"Did you hear about the Muslim artists who threw paint bombs at a building? They blue it up."