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Joke of the Day

"Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3? Because off sequence, Yoda was."

"If a person with ADHD went to a camp... ... would it be called a concentration camp? Source: Girlfriend with ADHD"

"Why don't programmers go on panty raids? Because they get undie find errors."

"I hate people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE."

"Is it 5 seconds from when it hits the floor or when I see it? I just noticed a skittle under my desk. I don't remember eating skittles."

"Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft."

"college is a lot like kindergarten except instead of going to school im smoking weed in my dorm at 1 pm"

"There are two types of people on the planet... Those who can extrapolate information based upon the given context"

"I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back."

"My husband wants me to stop working on my flamingo impression. I had to put my foot down."