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Joke of the Day

"I feel as though common sense should be referred to as the sense formerly known as common."

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"No lie: When the plane landed I had 9 texts and my 13yr old had 343."

"People always talk about starting families... But no one ever talks about finishing what they started."

"What happened to the butterfly that ate too much marble? He shaterpillar."

"Fun Fact: Valentine's Day was created by a woman than didn't get what she wanted for Christmas."

"Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house... the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken!"

"How does a chef get to work? He woks."

"What do you call a Jew with the pH level of 1? Hacidic!"