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Joke of the Day
"Fun Fact: Valentine's Day was created by a woman than didn't get what she wanted for Christmas."
Next Joke
"Apparently, saying ""Wow, you've grown since I last saw you"" isn't deemed socially acceptable when said to adults."
"Manslaughter: I always used to read it as 'man's laughter'. Seems oddly appropriate for someone who's got away with murder..."
"Where were these Terrorists when Seth Rogen did the Green Hornet?!?!?"
"Normal things that become creepy when you look both ways before doing them: Pick up a kid Unlock a door Load a rolled rug into your trunk"
"When I was a kid my fairy godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I forget my response."
"Why did the angry jedi cross the road? To get to the dark side"
"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"
"What happens when you don't pay your exorcist? ... You get repossessed."
"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."