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Joke of the Day

"Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah."

"Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his ass, chocolate sprinkles on his penis and strawberry sauce on his bollocks. Police think he topped himself."

"Imma be, I'm a be, I'm a be, Imma, Imma, Imma be... Just kidding, Imma wasp."

"Car's favorite dance? Brake Dance"

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up your girlfriend's arse."

"My wife is not happy with some of the comments in the anonymous suggestion box I attached our bed."

"You know, those people who insult Obama and the Clintons.. really need to stop beating around the Bush."

"Geology rocks but making holes in rocks is boring."

"Isn't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again"

"I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy"