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Joke of the Day

"I was just sentenced to Prison for my part in a timeshare fraud. I have to go to prison for two weeks every year for 20 years."

"What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung? The guardians of the galaxy!"

"My wine drinking is merely functional... My personality is better with a little marinade."

"What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"These days HD is so good, when you watch an NFL game you can see the murder evidence."

"Girl walks into a bar she asks the bartender for a double entendre, *so he gave her one.*"

"""Dad, tell me a joke"" ""Pussy"" ""I don't get it"" ""I know, son"""

"It's amazing how much us guys complain about women and then we fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth."

"Someone told me a story of a mountain climber... It ended with a cliffhanger."

"I want to make a joke about screamo music... But there was no rhyme or reason to it."