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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"I tried to write a song about a fajita.... But it turned into a wrap."

"Repost- How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta!"

"If asked at a job interview ""what's your biggest weakness"", test their tolerance for honesty by replying ""mortality"""

"Which snake is the best at counting Nigerians? A Black Adder"

"I often wonder how different it would be if I were to go back to grade school Not so much with the knowledge I have now, but with the penis I have now"

"You should argue with your wife only when she's not around."

"[sees cute girl jog by] ""Imma run up and ask her out"" [one block later still not caught up] ""Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"""

"""Whats your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm bad at taking compliments"" ""Actually that's quite endearing"" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*"