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Joke of the Day

"Let me put on my thinking cap hmmm... all I'm coming up with is ""I'm a sentient garment my very existence is a horror kill me now""."

"I hate when my phone corrects ""hood morning"" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today."

"When I take my drugs on Sundays, I always say ""Body of Christ"" because I'm all religious and shit."

"hi yeah I'm here about the junior executive position. my skills? well I'm SUPER GOOD at playing video games i found too difficult as a child"

"People always ask 'how do you cope with erectile disfunction'? Honestly, it's not that hard"

"Have you seen that new documentary about constipation? Oh that's right, it hasn't come out yet.."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to keep browsing Reddit and another to get someone else to do it."

"Love is never having to say you're sorry. Marriage is saying sorry especially when you're not."

"What do you call a Woolworths that has been burned down? Coles"

"If you could choose between world peace and $100,000,000, what color would you choose for your Ferrari?"