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Joke of the Day
"Love is never having to say you're sorry. Marriage is saying sorry especially when you're not."
Next Joke
"My freshman year of college I farted in a tiny crowded dorm room & a girl's younger sister who was visiting & wasn't even drunk threw up."
"Is knowing of collapse of supermarket in Latvia? Is sad but now has five more potato for all of Latvia."
"do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?"
"My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, ""Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."" I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter."
"TIL Cleopatra lived closer to me than the pyramids. I live in Alexandria, so did she, and the pyramids are 200km away."
"People come up to me all the time in the street and they ask me, they ask me: ""Say, Paul, what's the Mahabharata?"" And I say to them, I say, ""Oh, just a bit of light reading."""
"My girlfriend thought she caught me cheating on her... I was like, ""No baby, I ain't cheating on you, that's just my wife!"""
"The school wants to test my kid for gifted but the program doesn't have ""my kid is gifted"" bumper stickers, so, like, what's the point?"
"Why did the short guy lose the basketball game? Because he four feet."