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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man marry a monkey? Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke"

"Saying someone is doing something ""like a boss"" to me is an insult because my boss does things half assed & incorrectly then blames others"

"After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister... He became best friends with hand solo."

"Did you hear about the plastic surgeon that hung himself?"

"DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery."

"What did the japanese chef do after he dishonored the emperor? Commit sushi"

"I sometimes miss people I love quite a bit... But my aim is getting better."

"I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, ""Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."""

"Seaside Treats by Rhoda Donkey"

"WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS"