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Joke of the Day

"Why do police ask to see your drinking license when they pull you over, but they call it a driver license like your bartender does before you can drink?"

"My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old. A pretty impressive feat, especially for someone who was homeschooled."

"A young lady walks into a bar... She was protected by a rubber Bump*her*"

"Why didn't the Soviet Union send Cosmonauts to the Moon? In case they didn't want to come back."

"Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted."

"Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny."

"What does a waiter ask a group of Jewish ladies? Q: What does a waiter ask a group of Jewish ladies? A: ""Is ANYTHING all right?"""

"I just became the mayor of ""Giving Away Tons of Personal Data to Corporations and Government Agencies Because I'm an Idiot"" on FourSquare!"

"I always assume people with red cars were drunk when they went to the dealership."

"Volkswagen should hire Arnold Schwarzenegger to deal with their emission scandal He's got experience with a Total Recall"