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Joke of the Day

"Why do police ask to see your drinking license when they pull you over, but they call it a driver license like your bartender does before you can drink?"

"Playing 8-person smash was one of the deepest and most thought provoking experiences I've ever had... I spent the whole time trying to find myself"

"I hate it when I go to the supermarket and the employees there comment on my groceries. Always with the ""Hey, sir, you have to pay for those!"" Every damn time."

"Is light a wave or a particle? Yes"

"What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt? Afroturf"

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go."

"What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security."

"Why do college frat boys drink before bathing? Buds before suds, bro."

"I was going to see your comedy but then a critic called it ""Delightful."""

"Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees."