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Joke of the Day

"I met a Japanese mathematician yesterday Japanese Mathematician: ""Acknowledge my presence, zero"" Me: ""Can you elaborate in mathematical terms?"" Japanese Mathematician: ""Notice me sin(pi)"""

"I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method."

"What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do."

"iTunes has got it all wrong. The hottest single of the year is me."

"Every couple weeks I pour a little cocoa powder and hot milk down the sink as a pick me up for any struggling mole people."

"Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller"

"It's nice to see women who don't lose their figures as they grow older. They take such a long time to paint and Warhammer is expensive enough as it is."

"Not knowing that it's called ""baby corn"" isn't a big deal... ...but everyone looked at me REALLY weird when I said ""oooh, I LOVE child corn"" in a crowded restaurant."

"What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."