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Joke of the Day

"BARBER: what'll it be ME: can u make me feel extremeley self-conscious for 45 minutes BARBER: u got it"

"Donald trump wins presidency"

"What do you call a gay in the middle of the ocean? Flambuoyant :)"

"""if inventimg a machine that alows man to soar through the air is wrong, i dont want to be Wright"" - Wright brother, invemtor of airplabe"

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese? Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario."

"Looked up from my phone for a few minutes. Wasn't worth it."

"What's the biggest Jewish conundrum? Free Bacon!"

"I saw a blind man walking down the street one morning... I saw a blind man walking down the street one morning and as he passes by a fish market, he shouts ""Good morning ladies!!!"""

"How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? You strangle it until it turns blue, and then shoot it with the blue elephant gun."