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Joke of the Day

"FINISH THE SENTENCE!!! I woke up in a ditch and...."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later."

"They should have cell phone charges in waiting rooms instead of magazines."

"Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your teeth !"

"How do you recognize a rich ethiopian? He only wears Rolex around his waist."

"I tried making jokes about people who don't go to the gym... ...but none of them worked out."

"Added my sticker to the family on the back of your van I am in your family now you have to bring me to costco every time you go."

"GIVE ME FUEL GIVE ME FIRE GIVE ME MILK THAT'S NOT EXPIRED"

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me while he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it."

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team"" so....there"