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Joke of the Day

"The world has gotten so politically correct that I don't know what is appropriate to throw at a crying baby in a restaurant anymore."

"How was I supposed know she was ugly? She had big titties."

"What's a police officers favorite console? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U. Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D"

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"(Business) Mike: It's a sled. I call it the Mikesled. Bob: I have a better idea."

"Hit the showers. Smack a sink. Verbally assault a bathtub. Make everyone at Home Depot uncomfortable."

"What do you call a German tampon? A twatstika."

"I had a dream that I killed all the dumb shirtless guys with 'swag' and their duckfaced girlfriends. It was the Yolocaust."

"I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager. It's amazing what you can find on eBay."

"Girl Horribly Rejected https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va9sVhWuAv8&feature=youtu.be"