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Joke of the Day
"Did I tell you that my girlfriend has the flu? Yeah, basically."
Next Joke
 
"This week's weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs."
"I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you."
"It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone"
"What do you call a baby pizza with epilepsy? Little Seizures."
"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you.nMe: TEDDYBEARSnCop: Aww."
"What do you call 20,000 lawyers under the sea? A good start."
"I don't have to put up with this, I'm a grown ass man ... I used to be an adolescent ass man; I've never wavered in a T&A debate."
"""Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."""
"What's the hardest part of burning a church? My dick."