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Joke of the Day

"I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you."

"Why the hell would I use turn signals? I know where we're going."

"LeAnn Rimes No, it doesn't."

"Two biologists have twins. They named one Jessica, and named the other Control."

"Your son has been suspended ""for what?"" He hit a kid who was picking on another child ""so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"""

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those that get it and those that don't."

"Sober in an Uber: Please don't talk to me. I don't know you. Drunk in an Uber: I want to get married one day, but I put up emotional walls"

"Did you hear about the dumb father who returned from lunch and saw a sign on his door ""Back in 30 minutes"" so he sat down to wait for himself?"

"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."

"What is the name of a bag pipe band that likes to play while jumping on squares? hopscotts."