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Joke of the Day

"People who do not use the grocery store divider bar can rot in hell."

"Did you hear about the guy who got fired from Crayola last week? He desecrated the holy crayon."

"*shoots self in the foot and screams in agony for 20 seconds* *hits 'stop recording' on outgoing voicemail message*"

"I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them."

"There are three ways to spread news telegram, television and tellawoman."

"What song do isis members play during executions Burn baby burn"

"I'm going to open a frozen pizza shop It's called ""Pizza By the Ice."""

"I am Ahmed Mohamed AMA! Wow that blew up fast!"

"This just happened and it could be a joke... No. Really. I was swinging my fork around and got dumplings in my eyes. It wasn't that bad."

"Why was the butcher fired? Because he was caught *beating his meat*!"