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Joke of the Day

"People who do not use the grocery store divider bar can rot in hell."

"What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"The Riddler always struck me as the Batman villain most likely to have been a pickup artist."

"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being special."

"[Scientist describing evolution of the zebra] ""We believe they were crime horses that stayed in jail for like a really, really long time."""

"I asked my grandma what she wanted for Christmas & all she said was ""a race war"" (??)"

"A trucker walks into a bar ...drinks a glass of poison and dies immediately."

"The dominating wife A woman at an optician's shop: I am returning the glasses I bought for my husband. He is still not seeing things my way!"

"A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink."

"[police lineup] VICTIM: That's him! The dopey fat guy in the middle. COP: We haven't started yet. That's your own reflection in the glass."