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Joke of the Day

"Obama says he's pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing."

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel.."

"""Report Spam"" is the elevator close door button of Twitter."

"Hey, guy who sniffs wine then talks about its oakiness or whatever, could you stop being a serial killer"

"Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $47! -Attorneys"

"What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin? Santa Ana"

"Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom."

"Why is Santa always jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food? Because he said he loves miso."

"If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?"