100490
Joke of the Day
"I asked my grandma what she wanted for Christmas & all she said was ""a race war"" (??)"
Next Joke
"""Would you just look at all this bullshit?!"" - enthusiastic fertilizer suppliers"
"[NSFW] I always create female characters in third person shooter games Because if I am spending hours looking at someone else's back that should be a female."
"*watching husband sleep* Me: ""I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"" *husband snores* Me: ""I can't live like this."""
"A condom doesn't guarantee safe sex. My friend was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."
"Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained."
"What did the palestinians give Yasser Arafat when he died? A 21 stone salute!"
"(starts to scramble eggs) ""THESE YOLKS WON'T BREAK! THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!"" (.0008 seconds later) ""Oh, ok."""
"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."
"What is the speed of sex? 68. Cuz at 69 you eat it."