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Joke of the Day

"Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It's going to be a long night."

"How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read."

"A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes..."

"Let's ask the Ouija board a question. Is my wife's meatloaf good? *pointer moves to NO* You see, Debra? No I did not move it myself"

"Roses are red, Violets are Blue .. Nothing poetic, they are just facts."

"They agree I'm funny I started my new job at the retirement center today. Told the residents that I'm a really funny guy. They didn't understand any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves."

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist"

"This PS4 Pirate Simulator game is rubbish! Bringing your ship into harbour is a nightmare! I guess it's just a bad port."

"The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now."

"If I could have any superpower It would be Cold War Russia"