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Joke of the Day

"A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes..."

"In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library. Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library. -Conan Monologue June 12, 2014"

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with really big boobs? One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustation! ::buh dum bum::"

"I'm gonna sell my vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust"

"Show me on this lemon where life gave it to you."

"What form of radiation bakes you cookies? A gramma ray"

"If a guy says he can't feel anything while wearing a condom... Ask him if he can feel the money being sucked out of his paycheck for the next 18 years"

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."

"If I ever get AIDS, I hope I get it from an Indian. Because he'll take them back."

"If you masturbate on an plane, is it ""hi-jacking""?"