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Joke of the Day

"The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now."

"Want to hear this... *running* joke? Then you better go catch it!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid 200 dollars to have a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"I tried cocaine once It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"The problem is I'm really tired... But I hear there's a nap for that."

"What has nine arms and blows? Def Leppard"

"I've finally taken the time to list my collection of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal."

"Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave."

"My favorite part of the song is the beginning when the rapper goes ""Uh oh"" like both he and you are about to embark on an unexpected journey"

"American kids need to get better grades in school. Come on, guys. It's USA, not USB."