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Joke of the Day

"Why did the baby kangaroo not want to grow up? It was a wannabe wallaby!"

"An albino guy walks into a tattoo parlor... ...the tattooist looks him over, and asks ""So... what do you want?"" The albino guy replies, ""BEIGE. EVERYWHERE."""

"I recently surveyed 100 women about their favorite shampoo preferences... The number one answer was, ""What the hell are you doing in my bathroom!?"""

"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost my electron."" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first replies, ""Yes, I'm positive..."""

"I found a new recipe that's fat free, gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, preservative-free and is non-GMO. It's a real breath of fresh air."

"Standup comedy is challenging because you have to succeed at competitively describing how unsuccessful you are in life."

"Two in one people are Siamese."

"I saw a gay midget the other day I thought wow that's a little queer"

"TIL Harriet Tubman wasn't a real person. It was just what the slaves shouted to each other on the Underground Railroad, ""Hurry it up, man!"" Credit: my wife"

"Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard? He was the Chief In-Spectre."