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Joke of the Day

"Wifey is giving me the Silent Treatment for spending the entire night on Twitter. Win/Win, you guys... Win/Win."

"GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie ME: ... G: Only u didn't give it to me M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair"

"*leans out office door* Susan, hold all my calls. I have a very important lunch. *goes to desk and makes animal crackers fight each other*"

"My biggest fear is that someone will say ""Git-R-Dun"" while I'm holding my child. Because I will instinctively swing my baby at their face."

"Best joke I've heard in a while 63071"

"Me: so I'm delusional? Doctor: yes. Me: and you're a delusion? Doctor: yes. Me: I want a second opinion. Pink Dragon: you're delusional."

"Paranoid Mexicans have a Hispanic room."

"What's the difference between an Irish Funeral and an Irish Wedding? One less drunk person."

"I live in a high crime neighbourhood if you count socks with sandals."

"Men are just like jokes The best ones are all dark."