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Joke of the Day

"How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to change it, two to take pictures, and four to make t-shirts for the event."

"I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

"why did they bury liberace face down? so his friends could stop by for a cold one..."

"robber 1: *puts ski mask on head* you grab the money while i kiss all the bankers robber 2: huh? robber 1: uh i meant kill *hides lipstick*"

"I got a walk on part in a silent movie about mimes. I'm absolutely speechless."

"Just went to Walgreens & they're a bunch of liars. Their walls were more of a beige color. I'm suing."

"Why couldnt the laptop see? Cause it was SoDIMM"

"I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?"

"""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and being tagged in a super unflattering photo."""

"An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true."