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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a golfer and a climber? A golfer goes whack......shit. A climber goes shit.......whack."

"Is it called zerotasking or notasking? I'd look it up, but that kind of defeats what I'm going for here."

"What does an LGBT orthodontist make most of his money off of ? bruces"

"I saw this heartwarming video of baby bears climbing out of a dumpster and thought, ""Who would throw away a perfectly good baby bear?"""

"Did you hear about the skydiving company that stopped providing their own parachutes? Too much overhead."

"The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won't be going to work tomorrow. Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever"

"Dating tip: Girls love mysterious guys. For example, tell her ""Im a lawyer.Or AM I?"" then hum the Twilight Zone theme and turn into an eagle"

"If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs."

"gardens are insane. ""Oh that's just my box of dirt that pushes food at me very slowly."""

"Hate is a strong word... I prefer the term ""want to stab them thirty-seven times in the chest."""