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Joke of the Day

"2 nazis walk into a bar"

"[META] Can we have S,M,L flairs on joke posts to indicate length? Sort of similar to /r/tifu"

"This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions. I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy"

"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did didn't I you stupid fool!!"

"I want a tattoo but i'm afraid to get one. Not because it's permanent or the pain. I just don't want to talk to a stranger for 7 hours."

"New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT"

"Having friends is... Like peeing your pants, every one can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."

"A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture."

"What do frogs say that surf the internet? Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)"

"When speaking to children I always end every sentence with ""...or else you'll die. "" - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool."