128934

Joke of the Day

"When speaking to children I always end every sentence with ""...or else you'll die. "" - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool."

Next Joke
 
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you in 30 days!"""
"Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I've only done that with pizza"
"A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, ""Ho! Ho! Ho!"" ""Yeah,"" Drake sighs as he keeps walking. ""She was."""
"Date: you've already made me laugh, you can do no wrong Me: challenge accepted."
"I would tell you a joke about UDP/IP But you probably wouldn't get it"
"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"Your money or your life by Stan Den Deliver"
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."
"My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!"