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Joke of the Day

"[interrogation] COP: So you play the tuba do ya? ""No, the violin"" COP: Treble maker eh?"

"Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday."

"There was a prison break at Guantanomo Bay Authorities warned of ""free radicals"" in area."

"To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying"

"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume."

"I just bought that new aftershave ""Stalker"".... It's slightly stronger than Obsession."

"I saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, ""Is he on standby?"""

"What does Donald Trump tell Barack Obama supporters? Orange Is The New Black"

"I went to the doctor's office the other day And he told me, ""you've got to stop masturbating so furiously."" I responded, ""why, doc?"" He angrily responded, ""because, I'm TRYING to examine you."""

"What did the chicken say ? What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it."